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I tried to gauge from all I heard this week, what kind of black woman has a white boyfriend? I recall feeling vaguely ashamed at being so blatantly called out; and relieved that I had reclaimed my place in the sisterhood by landing an acceptable mate.

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Black women seem to feel bound less by societal strictures now and more by a sense of pain over the heartbreaking circumstances of black men. A multi-racial audience of students considered such issues as, does marriage subjugate women? Among African Americans, two women graduate from college for every man. By Sandy Banks.

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But those same circumstances are what help keep middle-class black women single. What kind of woman, by refusing to look beyond skin color, cheats herself in service of a painful history? Our first stop this week was an elegant home on a palm-lined street in Baldwin Hills, where a book club meeting was hosted by a woman who had just returned from a day sailing trip through the Greek Isles, on her own.

Who loses when we put conditions on an open heart?

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Read our coverage of Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi. I could sense the need to look beyond dispiriting stats and find an antidote to the isolation of black women rooted in faith, not betrayal, of beleaguered black men. Her guests that night — lawyers, writers, teachers, business owners — were mostly single women with satisfying careers, close friends and more than a passing acquaintance with loneliness.

The white co-worker who invited you to the symphony and dinner, and you thought he was just being friendly.

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Kendall Jenner, Michael Jordan, the Rock. Facebook Twitter Show more sharing options Share Close extra sharing options.

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Black men are twice as likely to marry a woman of another race. The boys went to parties.

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The girls went to college. Hot Property. Subscribers Are Reading.

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Get the shot. Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?

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All Sections. When one women recalled a romance with a white law school classmate that ended when he wanted to get serious and she was afraid of what might come next, her book group friends ribbed her.

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About Us. B2B Publishing. Times Events. And now, through a cruel twist of market forces, these young black women see themselves on the sidelines while black men call the relationship shots.

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Times Store. Then I would have been guilty as charged, of being one of those women with a white boyfriend.